If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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