I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
