If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
