dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
