he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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