His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
...so i touched it.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
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