Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
