You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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