Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
But theres a keg here and me gusta
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
