I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Randomize
