Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Randomize
