Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
