I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
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