Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Randomize
