yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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