Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
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