you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Ladies don't puke and tell
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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