He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
