yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
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