oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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