I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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