She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Randomize
