all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
