No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
