I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
