You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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