Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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