Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Randomize
