Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
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