Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
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