I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
