so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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