Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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