Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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