And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Randomize
