JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
