even my farts smell like vagina
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
