too bad you live with your parents still
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
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