Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
My boob is missing a layer of skin
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize
