508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
