Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
