I'm drive I can fine osifer
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
