You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
