Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
we're so committed to being not committed
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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