You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
So apparently I’m into choking now
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