they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
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