it wasn't lemon gatorade
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
