happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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