When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Randomize
