so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
