and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
