i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
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